From the bathroom stall to the dragon boat
In this edition of Out of Curiosity:
✅ The super practical reasons I’m obsessed with building more and more trust in myself these days.
📝 A super practical way you can do the same.
🎧 A treat for anyone who loves the sound of my voice.
Hi Friends - I’m Jumping right in this time with two important questions for you.
1) What’s an area of your work or life that holds uncertainty for you right now?
2) And on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you trust yourself to navigate it?
Hold onto that number. I’ll come back to it.
The reason I ask is this: the biggest strides in personal and professional growth I see in my clients (and myself!) happen when that trust in ourselves is able to surface and meet an uncomfortable situation.
In the past couple of years I’ve experienced a big surge in trusting myself, and I’ve been sharing a lot about that on stage and in interviews recently. But here’s my honest worry. Self-trust can sound really nice and still feel a bit abstract. It’s easy for the practical impact of this concept to get lost.
At a high-level for me, self-trust is knowing I can handle what comes, even when I don’t know what’s coming.
Sounds lovely right? But I want you to see where the rubber meets the road, to understand what has actually changed as a result of this shift for me. These are the things that have become easier, the things I can meet more steadily, and the things I’m finding more joy (and Joy!) in than ever before.
Networking. I’ve gone from box breathing in a bathroom stall to being genuinely excited about what I might learn. (More on that here.)
Public speaking (and other ‘High Visibility Moments’). To be fair, part of me has always enjoyed this. But it used to require a fair bit of pushing through the pain to get to the good stuff. Now I feel truly calm and present. It’s a gamechanger - for me and for my audience.
Writing and being creative. I used to get stuck in the perfection trap. Now, the sh!tty first draft is my jam. And I’m far quicker to produce, iterate and share work as a result.
Prioritising and making hard decisions. I used to agonise over finding the perfect option and how my career and life decisions might be viewed by others. Now, how others view them feels much more like a ‘them’ problem. (Said with love.💜)
Coaching. This one surprised me. The more I trust myself, the more my clients trust themselves. When I’m not busy proving myself or reaching for the answer, there’s more room for them to find their own, which is the whole point.
Friending. Midlife is a funny old time for friendships, with everyone pulled in a LOT of really important directions. I’ve found that it can feel really lonely at times. Trusting myself has brought a complete shift in how I show up to my friendships and what I expect from them. It’s been liberating and heartwarming.
Momming. This year we’re going through the 11+. For anyone familiar with the process of finding a secondary school in the UK/London, you know what I mean when I say this term requires a bit of steadiness at the helm. (If you don’t, consider yourself lucky!)
Trying new things. Here’s something I never thought I’d say. I’m now an official member of a Dragon Boating Team. I joined with no experience and knowing no one. I got stuck in anyway and recently found myself paddling at full tilt for 40 minutes with my 19 crewmates in a race up the Thames…and it felt great. Who knew?
So, if any of these shifts sound good to you, let’s go back to your number.
What would it take to move it up by just one? Not to ten. Just one.
Here's a hint: you don’t need the whole answer. You just need to trust yourself with the next step.
CURIOSITY PROMPTS
Self-trust doesn’t appear from nowhere. It’s built (in part) from evidence: noticing the things you’ve already handled, accomplished, progressed, learned from and come through. That’s exactly what Mind the Gain™️ is for. It’s a 3-minute-day practice that creates a connection between you and your trust in yourself. Try it for a week and let me know what you think.
BONUS CONTENT
I’ve been chatting about all of this on a few podcasts recently. If you’d rather listen than read:
Revitalised Womanhood with Gina Trimmer: Could Discomfort Be the Proof That You’re Ready?
On Life, Leadership, Health and Happiness with Luci Gabel: When Success Never Feels Like Enough
Big Girls Don’t Cry with Georgie & Shanleigh : The Stories That Keep Us Stuck
WORK WITH ME
One final question from me before we go - What could 2027 look like if you fully trusted yourself to handle what comes?
I have a couple of spaces available for 1-to-1 coaching starting in November or January. If you’re curious, let’s start with a Next Chapter Conversation.
If you’re planning an offsite, conference or event (or know someone who is) my speaking details are here and you’re very welcome to get in touch.
In all curiousness,
Joy
P.S. If/when the spirit ever moves you or you have questions - always feel free to get in touch and let me know what’s coming up for you!
P.P.S. Know someone who would enjoy reading this newsletter? Feel free to share!
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